But It FEELS Right!
Oh, it does, does it? Wanna bet your headed for a crash if you follow that feeling!
“How can it be wrong when it feels so right?” Probably one of the most overused lines in the history of mankind, right before someone does something really stupid!
Yeah, I know, I’ve said it myself!
So, why is it we humans get ourselves into messes like this?
Simple, we let our heart be our guide! But, you say, that’s what they told me I was supposed to do, follow my heart!
Ugh, no! The scripture says, “The heart is desperately wicked, who can know it?” And that’s because wisdom teaches us that our emotions can and do deceive us into thinking something is good for us when it really isn’t.
But how are we supposed to learn those lessons?
Today is Thursday of the Third Week of Great Lent. The rush to foolish behavior is healed by learning patience. The greatest gift you can give your children is the maturity that comes with delayed gratification. Lives have been destroyed by pursuing shallow and untamed desire rather than doing the hard work of taming our desires and subduing our passions. The popular sayings of “follow your heart” or basing your choices merely on your feelings will not serve you well in living your best life.
Today’s Lesson: Proverbs 13:19-14:6
A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul; but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools. He who walks with wise men becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Misfortune pursues sinners, but prosperity rewards the righteous. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous. The fallow ground of the poor yields much food, but it is swept away through injustice. He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, but the belly of the wicked suffers want. Wisdom builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. He who walks in uprightness fears the LORD, but he who is devious in his ways despises him. The talk of a fool is a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them. Where there are no oxen, there is no grain; but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies. A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding.
A common trait of immaturity is the rush to do foolish things.
“It seemed a good idea at the time” was a phrase I heard often from young men I had to arrest when I was a police officer. And most of the kids who did those stupid things sensed they had messed up the second they started making bad choices.
The Faith gives us the path out of this dilemma by teaching us to avoid trusting our momentary feelings and to build our lives on the solid foundation of wisdom.
What Can We Take From This?
First, the precept of patience teaches delayed gratification, the greatest gift you can give your children.
“A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul; but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools... He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Notice: “A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul.” But not every desire should be fulfilled immediately. Or at all. How do you discern this? How do I retrain my desires to want what’s best?
Patience gives you the time to learn that delayed gratification is wise and that you don’t HAVE to have it right this very minute. In fact, I once heard a child psychologist say that the greatest gift a parent can give a teenager is delayed gratification.
But that can only come when you understand WHY your desires have to be tamed!
“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
This isn’t about physical punishment. It’s about the discipline of delayed gratification. The discipline of learning that just because something feels right doesn’t mean it is right. The discipline of patience that tames desires instead of immediately fulfilling them.
This is what Great Lent teaches. You want to eat. You delay that desire. You want comfort. You discipline that desire. You want immediate gratification. You practice patience.
And once you learn this lesson, you may discover that what you thought you wanted wasn’t what you really needed. The desire that felt so urgent? It passes. The thing that seemed so important? It wasn’t.
You’re teaching your stomach what it really is hungry for. You're retraining your desires to want what’s best.
Lives have been destroyed by pursuing shallow and untamed desire rather than doing the hard work of taming desires and subduing passions.
Are you rushing to fulfill every desire? Or learning the patience of delayed gratification?
Next, the precept of companions means walking with the wise instead of foolish friends who destroy you.
“He who walks with wise men becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm... Wisdom builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”
It’s true that if you hang out with dogs, you’re going to get fleas. So, if a young man shows me who his friends are, I’ll be able to tell him who he is, or at least who he thinks he is.
We need to surround ourselves with good role models if we ever hope to learn how to live our lives well. We can’t avoid the truth that wisdom comes from companions who are wise, not companions who are foolish.
“He who walks with wise men becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
During Great Lent, are you walking with wise companions? Are you in church with the saints? Are you reading the lives of those who tamed their passions? Are you listening to your spiritual father?
Or are you walking with foolish companions? Are you listening to voices that say “follow your heart”? Are you surrounded by people who rush to fulfill every desire without patience?
Your companions matter. Wisdom builds her house through wise companions. Folly tears it down through foolish friends.
Are you walking with wise companions? Or suffering harm from foolish friends?
Finally, the precept of perspective means believing in a faithful future to avoid poisoning it with mistakes now.
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous... The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, but the belly of the wicked suffers want.”
Notice how all these precepts insist on time. Patience requires time. Companions influence you over time. And perspective means looking beyond the immediate moment to the future. Learn to spend your time well!
We can’t ignore the truth that life offers no shortcuts to maturity and peace. It’s work. It’s attentiveness. It’s labor. It can be discouraging at times. It is always pushing against the present age.
But perspective comes when you allow yourself to believe in the wisdom of a faithful future, avoiding mistakes now that will poison your future.
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” He’s not thinking about right now. He’s thinking about the future. About his children. About their children. About generations.
Learn to plant trees under whose shade you will never sit!
The popular sayings of “follow your heart” or basing your choices merely on your feelings will not serve you well in leaving a legacy for your children. Because those sayings have no perspective. No future. No sense that choices now affect what comes later.
“The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, but the belly of the wicked suffers want.”
The righteous person has perspective. He knows that delayed gratification now leads to satisfaction later. He knows that taming desires now prevents suffering want later.
Do you have a perspective on a faithful future? Or are you poisoning it with choices based on feelings right now?
The Holy Martyrs Chrysanthus and Daria
Today we commemorate the Holy Martyrs Chrysanthus and Daria, who were martyred in Rome around 283 AD. Chrysanthus was a young Roman nobleman who converted to Christianity. His father arranged his marriage to Daria, a priestess of Athena, hoping to turn him from the Faith. Instead, Chrysanthus converted Daria, and they lived together in celibacy, dedicating their lives to spreading the Gospel.
They were eventually arrested and martyred for their faith, buried alive in a sand pit.
Chrysanthus and Daria understood what Proverbs teaches in today’s passage. They practiced patience, delaying the immediate gratification of marriage to dedicate themselves to Christ. They chose wise companions, walking together in the Faith instead of with foolish friends who would lead them astray. They had perspective, believing in a faithful future with Christ that was worth any sacrifice now.
They didn’t follow their hearts. They didn’t base their choices on feelings. They didn’t rush to fulfill desires. They tamed their passions, subdued their desires, and lived with the wisdom of delayed gratification.
That’s Normal Orthodoxy. Learning patience through delayed gratification instead of rushing to fulfill every desire. Walking with wise companions instead of foolish friends. Having perspective on a faithful future instead of poisoning it with choices based on feelings right now.
Your Response Today
Today is Thursday of the Third Week of Great Lent. I know it’s tempting to dismiss much of this as empty platitudes and old-fashioned thinking.
“Follow your heart!” they say. “If it feels right, do it!” they insist. “You deserve to be happy!” they shout.
But remember: you can’t always trust your feelings! Lives have been destroyed by following hearts that were desperately wicked. Futures have been poisoned by doing what felt right in the moment.
But you can trust the tested wisdom of the centuries, and all that wisdom is available to you when you do the hard work of being Orthodox on Purpose!
Practice the precept of patience. Learn delayed gratification. Tame your desires. Discipline your passions. Give yourself and your children the greatest gift: the maturity to say “not right now” to desires.
Practice the precept of companions. Walk with wise men and become wise. Surround yourself with the saints. Listen to your spiritual father. Avoid the companionship of fools who will lead you to suffer harm.
Practice the precept of perspective. Believe in a faithful future. Think about your children’s children. Make choices now that won’t poison later. Live with attentiveness and labor, knowing there are no shortcuts to happiness.
And once you learn these lessons, you may discover that what you thought you wanted wasn’t what you really needed.
Being Orthodox on Purpose means learning patience through delayed gratification instead of rushing to fulfill every desire, walking with wise companions instead of foolish friends who lead to harm, and having perspective on a faithful future instead of poisoning it with choices based on feelings right now!
P.S. Holy Martyrs Chrysanthus and Daria, you practiced patience, chose wise companionship, and had perspective on a faithful future, taming your passions and subduing your desires even unto martyrdom. Intercede with Christ our God that our souls may be saved.
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Fr. Barnabas Powell is the parish priest at Sts. Raphael, Nicholas, and Irene Greek Orthodox Church in Cumming, GA. He is also the founder of Faith Encouraged Ministries and produces the Faith Encouraged Daily Devotional on Substack. Watch the Faith Encouraged YouTube Channel here - https://www.youtube.com/@FaithEncouragedTV
