"Doubting Thomas"
Actually, we Orthodox call St. Thomas "Thomas, the Believer" because we don't take a snapshot of one moment and make it someone's whole life!
Have you ever struggled with doubt?
If you’re honest, the answer is “yes.”
But I wouldn’t be surprised if some readers said, “No, I don’t doubt.”
And that scares me more because that means either this person has never really paid close attention to themselves or the Faith claims of Christianity, or they are so disconnected from self-awareness that they don’t realize they doubt.
Or maybe they are misunderstanding the meaning of “doubt.”
But if you have ever struggled with doubt, then you know how de-energizing it can be, how painful it can be. When I’m struggling with doubt, I also usually battle with fear and anger at the same time.
So what is it about doubt that derails confidence?
Experience is a powerful indicator of future performance. It isn’t wise to ignore the painful reality of past promises unkept. However, it is neither wise nor helpful always to expect the worst from someone else.
Where’s the balance? How do we protect our hearts from the debilitating power of doubt?
Look at John 20:19-31:
On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, even so I send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in His side, I will not believe.” Eight days later, His disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. The doors were shut, but Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see My hands; and put out your hand, and place it in My side; do not be faithless, but believing.” Thomas answered Him, “My Lord and My God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen Me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing, you may have life in His name.
The path to keeping doubt from becoming caustic in your soul requires you to hold the past, present, AND future altogether!
Notice how the Lord deals with Thomas’ moment of doubt.
The Lord doesn’t scold Thomas; He invites him to examine his heart through a question and a comment! “Have you believed because you have seen me?”
Doubt can be kept from becoming a sickness in your heart if you will embrace three truths:
First, the Truth of Experience.
It is entirely legitimate to examine a track record of behavior and predict future performance. That’s just reality. I have about a C- when it comes to paying attention to my diet (however, I do grade myself on a curve!), so it’s fair to say I will continue to struggle with this aspect of my health. But past experience will never protect your heart from the darker side of doubt.
You CAN’T stop there.
Next, you have to embrace the Truth of Expectation.
Not your expectation of yourself or of your friends and family, but your expectation of God’s grace and mercy! You see, forgetting to add God and His mercy and love to the equation will always lead you to despair, doubt, cynicism, and sadness. The Truth of Expectation allows you to joyously expect the best from yourself and others because God’s grace is always present. It’s just a matter of having the courage to appropriate Him for your life. It’s called “faith.” Our expectations of ourselves and others are always iffy! But I’ve never been disappointed when my expectations focus on God’s mercy and grace.
Finally, if you are going to avoid the darker side of doubt, you must embrace the Truth of Execution.
When I act as if God can’t rescue me, my behavior reflects my lack of faith. When I fail to act faithfully, my heart and my words reflect my lack of belief! But suppose I act out the reality of God’s love and power in my life. In that case, I can execute a pattern of faithfulness that dispels the darkness of doubt because of my confidence, not in myself or those around me, but in God’s ability to make up for the deficiencies of my life and those around me!
I bet you’re not surprised that this devotional has St. Thomas as our hero of Faith today. St. Thomas the Believer is truly a hero of the Church because he’s a real person facing real challenges and honestly dealing with his fundamental weaknesses with humility and repentance. He’s an excellent role model! He established Christianity in India and went on to spread the Faith all across this area of the world. He was martyred for his faith when his preaching and teaching persuaded the wife and son of the ruler of the Indian city of Meliapur. He was arrested, tortured, and pierced with five spears. He reposed as Thomas the Believer!
Today, we all have doubts. They are natural, understandable, and expected. But doubt doesn’t have to be the final word in your life. Doubt can be kept from becoming a paralyzing influence on your spiritual progress if only you’ll allow doubt not to grow into disbelief! By holding the past, present, and future together in light of God’s grace, His mercy, His love, and forgiveness, you can doubt and not stumble, just like St. Thomas! He ended his earthly life as Thomas the Believer because he was a Normal Orthodox Christian.
P.S. Christ’s Apostle, who was filled with God’s divine grace, he who was His genuine and faithful servant in all truth, all-lauded Thomas exclaimed aloud in deep repentance: You are both my God and Lord.
Fr. Barnabas Powell is the parish priest at Sts. Raphael, Nicholas, and Irene Greek Orthodox Church in Cumming, GA. He is also the founder of Faith Encouraged Ministries and produces the Faith Encouraged Daily Devotional on Substack. Watch the Faith Encouraged YouTube Channel here - https://www.youtube.com/@FaithEncouragedTV
There are over 3 years of video homilies available to you at FaithEncouraged.org
Here’s a link to Fr. Barnabas’ special presentation to the Ecumenical Patriarch
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