Foundational Family
It isn't a mistake that the attacks on the Family in recent decades has produced chaos in society. The Family is the foundation of any society.
It’s no secret that family life is filled with challenges. I don’t think we’ve seen the ultimate fallout of all the social experiments Americans have engaged in since all these movements have demanded this or that societal change regarding the family.
One of the interesting, if unintended, consequences of these movements is the growth of interest in ancient religion among young men and women. For instance, why are so many young adults converting to Orthodoxy from the Evangelical Protestant world?
Another recent study showed that the adolescent stage of development in American teenagers extends well into their 20s and even into their 30s.
Of course, this means that marriage is being put off till later and later, and interestingly enough, even sexual activity is going down among teenagers! There are many reasons for this, and not all of them are good. But no one can dismiss the role bad family experiences have had in shaping the expectations of our youth! The epidemic of loneliness and fear in this generation of young adults is a direct result of the loss of how to make healthy families! We need to see that forming normal and healthy families is critical to a strong society!
Another real-world consequence for society is the crashing birth rate in many developed countries. Japan and South Korea are already below replacement numbers, and America is approaching this precipice as well.
The Christian Faith provides wisdom about how to “do” family and even extends that wisdom into how to “do” a healthy society!
Look at our lesson today in Ephesians 5:33; 6:1-9:
Brethren, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, be obedient to those who are your earthly masters, with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as to Christ; not in the way of eye-service, as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same again from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. Masters, do the same to them, and forbear threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven and that there is no partiality with him.
St. Paul continues his instructions to the Ephesian Church and all the other parishes around Ephesus (this epistle is known as a “circular epistle,” which is a letter that is to be shared with all the nearby parishes) by teaching them to embrace just what a family is supposed to look like when the Message of Jesus is at the heart of the Family.
Husbands love their wives; wives respect their husbands; children obey their parents; fathers don’t “provoke” their children; household slaves obey their masters; masters treat their servants as Jesus treats them! And all of this happens because everyone in the household embraces the life-changing message of the Faith! And they allow the Faith to inform and form their choices, attitudes, and actions! And every bit of this wisdom is a true “martyrdom” of our ego and pride! The very thing that will make for a strong society is found in the making of true families and healthy marriages!
But how? Great question.
The “how” flows from the “why” of the reason for being Orthodox on Purpose.
You see, each of us needs to become like our Creator so that eternity with Him won’t feel like hell! And God, Who loves you, knows what you need to effect such a transformation in your own life. He puts you in relationships!
Yeah, I know. Thanks!
Seriously, the hard work of being in relationships invites you and me to see deep within ourselves and know ourselves and every place where we are asleep to our own self-centeredness. I wouldn’t know the extent of my own selfishness if I didn’t have this wife and these children to put me in situations where I had to see just how lazy and selfish I really am!
Ouch!
And they, if they are awake to the purpose for all this, discover the same things about themselves in the crucible of family.
This is why the Fathers say the family is a “little church.” It is where we are invited to know ourselves, as painful and even fearful as it may be. This knowledge can lead us to despair and even depression as we refuse to give up our false expectations and the delusion that this is “supposed to make me happy.”
No, we aren’t in these relationships for ourselves alone!
We are given these gifts to learn how to move beyond ourselves and be made like our God, Who loves me so much that He gives Himself entirely to and for me!
In 524 AD, the Christian faith had become the faith of a city called Najran (present-day Yemen). But the enemies of Christianity were attacking the city, and its defenses were growing thin. The ruler of the area, Dhu Nuwas, was a heretic who sought to destroy the Church in his attacks on the city. But St. Arethas, the chief man in Najran, stood firm even after Najran fell to the pagan attacks. St. Arethas was not alone. The majority of the city’s population refused to denounce Christ even when they were threatened with execution. Dhu Nuwas had all the Christian men beheaded and burned and then summoned the woman of the city to appear before him and renounce Jesus. The women were even more bold than the men and rebuked the conquerer to his face. So much so that Dhu Nuwas said the women insulted him more boldly than the men! These Arab heroes of the Faith preserve the witness of how powerful our Faith is supposed to be that it shapes our entire life!
So, today, are you awake to the foundational purpose of your relationships? If you are, you have the strength to see just how vital this formation is in finally living a Normal Orthodox life!
P.S. Through the sufferings which Your holy martyrs Arethas and his companions endured for Your sake, O Lord, we beseech You, O Lover of mankind: heal all of our infirmities.
Fr. Barnabas Powell is the parish priest at Sts. Raphael, Nicholas, and Irene Greek Orthodox Church in Cumming, GA. He is also the founder of Faith Encouraged Ministries and produces the Faith Encouraged Daily Devotional on Substack. Watch the Faith Encouraged YouTube Channel here - https://www.youtube.com/@FaithEncouragedTV
