MisMated
What does it mean when St. Paul warns the Corinthians about the dangers of mismated communion?
As the father of daughters and having once been a teenage boy myself, I am increasingly focused on building in my girls the tools for good choices in relationships.
One of my most potent parental concerns is guiding my children to avoid the shortsightedness that seems to dominate the human race regarding relationships. Of course, relationships are what humanity is created to embrace. But the brokenness of the human race seems to see us stumbling into unhealthy relationships all the time. It’s the norm rather than the exception. So, how do we guide our children to avoid this short-sightedness and the inevitable heartache of bad relationship choices?
But this isn’t just about romantic relationships; it's about all our relationships. Our friends influence us, and we influence our friends. Our peers, acquaintances, and interconnectedness affect our thoughts, priorities, and actions.
So, how do we remain attentive AND open-hearted?
We start by embracing the wisdom of not being “mismated!”
Look at our lesson today in 2 Corinthians 6:11-16:
Brethren, our mouth is open to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return — I speak as to children — widen your hearts also.
Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God said.
Notice what Paul uses as an example of shortsighted thinking and actions – “Mismated with unbelievers.”
Today, over and over again, people who self-identify as Christians are entering into marriage with either non-Christians or other Christian traditions radically different than their own. It isn’t a mistake that the Apostle uses the choice of a mate to illustrate the dangers of shortsighted spirituality. Especially in today’s culture of an overly “romantic” mindset, our emotions and desires are encouraged to find immediate gratification, and, if it doesn’t work out, well, then get a divorce.
But the Apostle offers us a path away from such sadness, and I find his imagery fascinating!
St. Paul tells the Corinthians that his “mouth is open to you” and his “heart is wide.” An open mouth and a wide heart! And then he tells the Corinthians to “widen” their hearts.”
Paul’s open mouth reveals two images that teach us the wisdom necessary to avoid short-sightedness. An open mouth reminds us of the baby birds in their nest waiting with trusting and hungry open mouths to be fed by their mother. Are you open-mouthed to the wisdom of the faith learned over centuries of being led by the Holy Spirit? Are you hungry for that wisdom? An open mouth also reveals the power of honest communication based on love and not mere power. Paul speaks plainly to the Corinthians and avoids the sickness of passive-aggressive manipulation for the more Christian and spiritually healthy path of honest words said in love.
If you hunger for Christ and His wisdom above all else, you will be equipped with discernment about relationships in your life!
A wide heart means that a person’s inner life is expansive and expanding with the ever-growing Presence of God. A heart-widened person is one who has shown so much attention to their spiritual maturity that they have actually allowed the grace of God to make their interior life bigger and hold more of the grace and wisdom of God. This spiritual labor cannot be accomplished without the desire to know God growing ever stronger inside of that believer and coupled with the daily and purposeful practice of the faith in their lives. No wonder we call Mary, the Theotokos, “She who is more spacious than the heavens!” We call her Panagia because she is our best example of a wide heart ready to receive Christ and have Him birthed into the world!
If you allow God’s love and Grace to keep you humble and loving, you’ll remain available to everyone around you!
Like many Orthodox families, I have an icon of St. Euphrosynos the Cook in our kitchen. But reading his story is such a powerful example of a man who, though humble, was gifted by God with great grace. He was uneducated and born to a poor family but devout and pious from his youth. When he became an adult, he learned to cook. In his work, he prepared sumptuous meals for others but only ate a little for himself, saving his pay to share with the needy. He finally went to a monastery to become a monk, and while there, he served the brothers as a cook. Some monks looked down on him because he was uneducated and from a poor family. But Euphrosynos ignored the criticism, preferring to maintain his humility. A monk once saw a vision of St. Euphrosynos in a beautiful garden and asked the Saint for some of the apples there. When the monk awoke, the apples St. Euphrosynos gave him were in his monastic robe. The monk tolkd the brothers about this, but Euphrosynos fled the monastery so he would not be tempted with vain glory. He reposed in the Lord at a remote place.
Today, do you want to avoid the consequences of “mismatedness” in your relationships? Do you want to find meaning and hope in the most tragic and hopeless circumstances? The answer is an open mouth hungry for God and lovingly communicating His wisdom and a heart widened by the spiritual disciplines of the faith to hold Him Who cannot be held! This is the way to live a Normal Orthodox life!
P.S. You lived righteously in great humility, in labors of asceticism and in guilessness of soul, O righteous Euphrósynos. In a mystical vision, you demonstrated most wondrously the heavenly joy which you had found. Make us worthy to be partakers of it as well, by your intercessions.
This date is always a challenge for us here in the US. Please pray that we are ever vigilant in praying for those who died and suffered on this day and that we will not forget.
Fr. Barnabas Powell is the parish priest at Sts. Raphael, Nicholas, and Irene Greek Orthodox Church in Cumming, GA. He is also the founder of Faith Encouraged Ministries and produces the Faith Encouraged Daily Devotional on Substack.
