Transforming Relationships!

We were made for relationships. But not to feed our ego or even bring us comfort. The purpose of relationships is to transform us!

Statistics are funny things.

Everyone who wants to sway public opinion will use statistics to bolster their argument. Don’t get me wrong; I do the same thing, but apparently, I’ve reached the age where the old saying “figures don’t lie, but liars figure” strikes me as an essential reminder in our polarized age!

What a strange way to begin a devotional!

I will say, though, that the statistics on relationships in this society seem to paint a dismal picture. People are waiting longer to get married, and these marriages often fail.

The epidemic of loneliness in a growing technological age of connectedness seems counterintuitive. And yet, loneliness grows. Where have we lost the ability to form meaningful connections with each other?

Add to this the whole faddish “gender identity” crisis and the soaring increase in mental health issues for young people, and you can get the impression that something somewhere is seriously messed up!

Hey, Father, it’s Christmas; how about some sunshine? You got it. Just keep reading!

Look at our lesson today in Mark 10:2-12:

At that time, the Pharisees came up to Jesus and in order to test him, asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away.” But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Relationships are difficult—they’ve always been difficult.

The fundamental reason they are challenging is the foundational wound of our separation from God!

That first, fundamental relationship is all too often neglected, and that very neglect wounds every other relationship I have! It leads to chaos and delusion.

Just look at the chaos in society now. Society's confusion about marriage and relationships, the growing desperation to form “tribes” out of shared behaviors, the threat of an epidemic of loneliness, and the surprising secular desire to redefine marriage are all symptoms of the human need for relationships and our inexhaustible ability to mess them up!

But Jesus gets to the heart of the matter when He confronts the Pharisees with their addiction to justifying their behavior by rule-keeping. He uses their own Mosaic law to confront them with their misunderstanding of the very purpose of relationships, and he does it using marriage.

The purpose of marriage, the very icon St. Paul uses to describe Christ and His Church, is that the “two” would become “one flesh.” Jesus insists that the binary creation of male and female is part of the mystery of marriage, which reveals essential lessons about the purpose of our relationships.

The gift of marriage is meant to teach us the nature of the relationship God wants to build with us. This relationship is based on an ever-growing, deepening, life-changing, intimate communion. It isn’t about our convenience, happiness, or even comfort but the power of a healthy relationship to form us into being like Jesus Christ.

The primary purpose of marriage is to form in us the character of Jesus Christ. And that’s why marriage is so fundamental, theologically and morally. Marriage is a gift that invites me beyond me so that I can be remade!

This is the standard for healthy relationships: Does this communion make me more like Jesus Christ?

Does this relationship foster my growing relationship with God?

Be careful; you may use this to say that since my relationship isn’t doing this, it should be discarded. But that would miss the point! The very STRUGGLE to make relationships, even when it’s hard, invites me to deeper communion with God!

The bright spot in all this struggle and chaos is the guaranteed truth that God can draw from the most tragic moment wisdom that will remake me into a person like Jesus Christ. This is why St. Isaiah the Prophet insists that “no weapon formed against you will prosper.” (Isaiah 54:17)

Look at the heroes we remember today: St. Daniel and the Three Hebrew Youths, Ananias, Misail, and Azarias. These four saints were victims of ethnic cleansing in their homeland, taken captive to Babylon, and made to serve their new masters. St. Daniel gets thrown into a lion’s den, but God protects him. The Three Hebrew Youths refuse to bow before a pagan god and get thrown into a hot white furnace; they live because there was “another Man” in the fire with them to the point where their clothes didn’t smell of smoke, and their eyebrows were sung in flames! Every event spelled doom to these men who refused to deny God in the face of torment and death. But the results were just the opposite. They came out stronger and witnessed the power of a life devoted to God!

Today, are you able to build relationships in your life? What about friendships? Are you experiencing the hunger for communion AND the fear of being known? God’s desire for you is to know Him well so that you can know others in relationship. Start with that primary relationship first, and you’ll be on your way to living a Normal Orthodox life!

P.S. Great are the accomplishments of faith. In the fountain of flame the three Holy Youths rejoiced as though they were resting by the waters. And the Prophet Daniel showed himself to be a shepherd to the lions, as though they were sheep. Through their prayers O Christ our God, save our souls.

Fr. Barnabas Powell is the parish priest at Sts. Raphael, Nicholas, and Irene Greek Orthodox Church in Cumming, GA. He is also the founder of Faith Encouraged Ministries and produces the Faith Encouraged Daily Devotional on Substack. Watch the Faith Encouraged YouTube Channel here - https://www.youtube.com/@FaithEncouragedTV

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